We can match politicians to positions on the field.

Obama=wide receiver. Probably better than the 49er receivers in the past couple of years.

Biden=blocking fullback. He does go in head first, then thinks about what he did.

Palin=middle linebacker. She does have the personality and her Marge Simpson hair will protect her from concussions.

McCain...pretty much has to come in as the old heroic player to give a half-time speech.

Bush, clearly not Reggie, still plays running back. Unfortunately, he tore out all the pages from the playbook that illustrated runs to the left. His continual runs to the right have resulted in so many losses that the team won't hand him the ball any more.

Cheney= plays a rover on defense so nobody will know where he is.

Bill Clinton= Gots to be QB. Wants to be loved, so he shares the ball with everyone.

Hillary= hates sexism of cheerleaders, especially the ones that flock around Bill. Helps Bill by not having sex with him before games... and, actually, for the whole season.

Gore= offensive coordinator. He understands all those squiggily lines and things.

Mit Romney=only male cheerleader. The girls hate him because he is cuter than any of them.

Palin's daughter's boyfriend=tackling dummy. She secretly pays the team to kill him so she won't have to marry the little a-h to please her mother.

Supreme Court= officiating staff. Bush's team always wins.

Congress and House= fans who can't do the wave because there aren't enough of them on the same page.

Rove= is always found in the Black Hole at Raiders games, wearing skulls and wielding sharp weapons.

Pelosi= completely confused as to why people would be interested in any of this.

Bill Wash= God. Would have been our best President if he went that way.

Gotta stop now. Go 49ers