Men Are Just Simpler and Happier People!


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Adrianne and Bobbie go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Adrianne and Bobbie.
If John, Dave and Jim go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Big J, Goliath and Fatdog.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, John, Dave and Jim will each throw in $20.00, even though the total is only $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FROM ALL THIS
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

__________________
///Michelle


Check Out My X-Page | Become an X5world Premier Member | Join the BMW Car Club of America | X5world on MySpace | X5world Facebook Group

Amen Michelle! I like it.

__________________
2001 X5 3.0i, 2005 Volvo XC70,2001 VW Jetta TDI,
(Gone 2007 Audi A4 2.0T - P.O.S.)

Right on the money!

__________________
'08 335i Coupe - Barbera Red / Saddle Leather / Light Poplar Wood / 6spd Manual
Options: Sport, Premium, Cold Weather, Comfort Access, Active Steering (awesome!), Power Rear Shade, IPod Adapter, Navigation w/IDrive
Mods: M6 Wheels, Split Armrest, M-Steering Wheel, Euro Light Switch w/Rear Fog Lights, Short Shift Knob w/Matching E-Brake Handle, Clear Reflectors, CDV, Clear Bra

Retired:'04 X5 4.4i

these have been around for a while

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Funny stuff.

This was my favorite..

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.