today, we went on a long drive, got in the car, tried to pair, and nothing! :|

thought on the way home, ill turn the BT off on the phone, retry the car pairing function, turn the BT on, on the iphone, find the car, pair it... and bingo! got the PAIRING SUCCESSFUL words on the screen

got home and found my directory had been uploaded, and it all worked (to the annoyance of my partner having to answer calls im making from the car to the house, from the driveway ) she'll live

now i just gotta get the sides of the eject box milled down so the iphone fits in the case proper.

thanks to all who helped